Hi welly1,
I guess it’s a propane bottle, with an all-brass bullnose since you talk about the Nut.
The short answer is “the minimum force to make a seal”. You’re more likely to damage the surface of the bullnose or seat of the valve than the thread.
Accessory shops sell cylinder spanner’s with a short handle, maybe 120-150 mm long; these are intended so you don’t overtighten.
(You can buy cans of leak detector to check that the seal is good.)
Hope this helps.