Having got to grips cleaning and tidying the Innovation I thought it only right that I should show you around.

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It's a Tonic Metallic MWB Transit Trend 300 with 110PS. Swivel front seats and two rear belted seats that 'flop' down into benches at the press of a button. There's a bolster cushion that acts as a back to an offside sette and as an infill between the two sets of seats to form a double bed. In between the two swivelled seats is the 'coffee table'. It's top and the chrome leg clip into the rear wardrobe for storage. All the curtains in the van have seen better days and we've already spotted a replacement fabric and it'll be Mrs SDA's summer project to run them up.

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Hey Presto! The offside bench has become a seat and revealed another hole for a table and one of the mains electricity sockets.

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Another change with the dining table fitted in place. This table top stores clipped behind the door into the rear 'garage'.

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Lift up the offside seat back and in the box underneath lurks the van pump and the new Propex mains electric boiler. Hidden from view is a PSU and battery charger. Still some storage space available in nooks and crannies.

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The nearside seatbox has more space available. The item clipped on the right is a folding board used as part of setting up a double bed. Underneath it is a box containing the Webasto Airtop diesel fired warm air heater.

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Behind the nearside rear seat back is a small flip-up table that would be handy for a TV as the power and aerial sockets are nearby.

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In fact just a few inches away. Set in the 'pelmet' above the sliding door are the (from L to R) Webasto warm air heater control, mains, 12V and aerial socket, and the Zig control unit for batteries etc. The pelmet it self is a shelf that's about mobile phone depth above the sockets etc but drops to become 3 or 4 inches deep for the rest of the door width.

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Looking rearward from the seating area, you can see three of the five offside roof lockers. The rear barn doors that have the Nelson touch, the 3 ft deep worktop that hinges to aid access to cupboards, a door underneath that closes off the 'garage', a small Heki in the roof, the bi-fold half height wardrobe doors and the full height toilet 'room' door.

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Opening up the door on the right reveals the C200 swivel Thetford. The door was specially hinged this way for the previous owner who had a disability. We're going to have it returned to standard spec., where the door is split in half as a bi-fold and hinged on the front edge. This turns it into a good modesty screen.

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Now we've opened up the door into the rear 'garage' and revealed the dog crate.

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With the door to the 'garage' open you see where one of the table tops is stored and it starts to reveal the enormous worktop space in this van. The compressor fridge peeps from behind the door and the SMEV hob/sink Combi is under its glass cover and there's a mains socket in the splashback.

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The SMEV Combi revealed

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With the dog crate in the way, the lift-up area of worktop isn't much use, though if you could step into the 'garage' it would make access to the rear lockers etc much easier.

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Opening up just one half of the bi-fold wardrobe doors shows the stuff stored inside and the rear shelf, which, with the two hanging rails makes a very useful space.

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Just look at that fine range of five roof lockers in birch finish, some have mid shelves, some don't.

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Above the cab is another large locker, big enough for four pillows and two rolled up Duvalays. Note the edge of the large Heki above the 'lounge' and the two LED downlighters under the roof lockers.

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Moving round to the back of the van, another view of the interior, across that deep worktop.

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Underneath that worktop is the dog crate, of course, but in a hidden alcove above on the left are the ubiquitous dustpan and brush, the van's pitch sign, some old newspapers, some polishing clothes, and a wheel chock. In the garage is yet another stored away table top, levelling ramps, CADAC, toilet chemicals sand on the other side EHU cable, a pair of folding chairs, a bag with dog tie-outs and the watering can. In front of the crate is the enormously long Fiamma awning handle and a folded tripod for using the many tables outdoors.

Of course this is early days yet, but we're developing plans to sort out issues and bring the van back to its original glory with improved utility for us and the beardies.

Well, yes, it does have a side door but we try to keep ours open whenever possible.

Positioning wise I'm used to driving and parking it on my own so only require a 'guide' to ensure no small children have decided to inhabit the van's blind spot. Probably less noise parking than most caravanners with their profane language as the van fails to go in the direction they intended.

As for peeing, as you can see we have a proper Thetford and underneath the van, a 54 litre fresh and 30 litre waste tank. So Gloria only pees in the motorhome service point, unless I decide to drain the waste tank a bit, into the collapsible bucket and take it to the Wastemaster emptying point, like all the tuggers.

All right, I admit, I don't have the vaguest idea what you're on about Roger.

Our waste tank is only fed from the sink and the water drains so, so slowly it's like watching paint dry. I've been outside the van when the sink drains and there's not a sound. Apart from kids screaming, dogs barking tractors tractoring, birds singing, elephants trumpeting, lions roaring and ducks quacking. Actually I lied about two of those.

Has't tha been t'Welsh witch doctor recently to check for motorhome related tinnitus?

All taken in good part Mr Randa sir. I own to having owned one coachbuilt motorhome but even that was an Adria Compact and the body was only an inch or so wider than a PVC, unlike the big jobs hat are at least 6ins wider. As to TV, we hardly watch it at home, so there's no way it's going on holiday with us.

Your anti motorhome rants risk antagonising many Eribafolk members who have been motorhomers in the past or even think about going that way in the future.
There is clearly a popular market for them and much of Europe caters for their particular style of touring.
TonyP

Perhaps, but Roger's right about the quantities here. They really do make life in many smaller towns and villages hell. Its not just in the summer, either. The numbers have been exploding over the last few years. More and more towns are outright banning them as they cause such congestion.

I thought we were still allowed free speech in this country ? Carry on Randa !

But Roger est en France Mr U, not this country at all, mais vive la difference as someone possibly once said.

The difference between motorhoming and caravanning and camping couldn’t be starker than on this lovely site at Nicolston farm, overlooking Oxwich bay on the Gower in Wales. The site is just lovely, with a magnificent view. We are in what they referred to as the ‘caravan field’ but it’s full of mainly enormous motor homes, some with equally enormous awnings and all sorts of flashy equipment, significantly impacting the view as they park closest to the beach path (the beach is a 10 minute walk so little inconvenience to them parking higher up, allowing others to see the view too). Most contain only two people. There is a ‘camping field’ on the site, which I can see from our pitch. It’s full of VW campers and the like and tents, with multiple occupants. Last night we could see them all mingling, not noisily or anything, whereas all the motor homers were alone on their pitches or inside watching telly. We have a couple of friendly caravanners next to us but I said to Simon last night that I would have preferred to have been put in the camping field.

Of course it’s whatever floats your particular boat, but I do find large motor homes with full length awnings etc. an eyesore, especially in areas of some beauty and they are often parked with little consideration for anyone else’s outlook. Also, their occupants are often reluctant to share even basic conversation. That sounds awfully judgemental and I am sure that most motorhommers are very nice people. I guess you only remember the negatives.

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I wonder where Gloria fits in this discussion. She's 5.2m long, shorter than quite a few Campervans, though she is 9ft 3ins tall because someone fitted a TV aerial that upped the height from 8ft 6ins. She has 4 travel seats, 2 berths, a fridge, a proper toilet, 3 burner hob, sink, boiler and warm air heater.
Better yet where does it leave Grace's sibling, the Cavarno which is only 4.9m long, has the same interior but with a full oven and a full washroom, plus a bigger fridge that's 3-way.