What do you call an Alligator with GPS?









A Navi-Gator

Please feel free to add "Jokes" to this post

I don't know.....how would you describe Edward the drunk in one of our vans?

da da tish!

Pinched from another forum;

"The Policeman pulled over a car and strolled up to the drivers window: "Excuse me sir, but do you know that you're driving without a rear light?"

The driver jumped out and ran to the rear of his car and let out a whimpering groan. The driver seemed so genuinely distressed that the policeman took a sympathetic view: "Don't take it so hard, it's not all that serious an offence..."

"Isn't it" the driver cried, "Where's my caravan gone?"

A priest wants go go golfing one Sunday but he has to run Sunday mass so can never go, so one Sunday mass he cancels at the last minute.

Finally having some time on a Sunday, he goes straight to the local course and starts a round of golf.

An angel picks up this happening and brings it to the attention of God. He says "aren't you going to do anything, God?"

At that moment, the priest hits his tee shot. A freak gust of wind takes the ball and it bounces off a tree, bounces off a rock and lands in a river. Then, a bird comes and picks up the ball, flies with it partway up the course but is then struck by a freak bolt of lighting. The ball flies out of the bird's beak, bounces onto the green and goes in the hole, for a hole in one.

The angel then turns to God and says "why did you do that? That's the luckiest shot anyone ever took!"

God just smiles and replies "yes, but who's he going to tell?"

My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you b.....d!"
"Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

My wife was in a foul mood, she stood in front of the mirror this morning
"My hair looks a mess, I've got bags under my eyes, I've put on weight and I'm looking old! I need you pay me a compliment!"
"Well dear your eyesight is damn near perfect"

A couple are having problems in the bedroom athletics department

She decides to make him an appointment with a therapist who knows about these problems

He goes to see the therapist and when he comes back, he steps through the front door and masterfully tells her to get upstairs get naked and do a handstand in front of the full length mirror!

She complies with his wishes

He comes upstairs and parts her legs and puts his chin between them!

She says my God did the therapist teach you this?

He says, No I just wanted to see what I looked like with a beard

I cleaned that up, a LOT!!!

A large group of Isis fighters in Iraq are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune: "One Marine is better than ten Isis fighters".

The Isis commander quickly orders 10 of best men over the dune where a gun battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.

The voice once again calls out: "One Marine is better than one hundred Isis 'S.O.B.'s'".

Furious, the Isis commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.

The voice calls out again: "One Marine is better than a thousand Isis fighters." The enraged Isis commander musters 1,000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the dune. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible fight is fought ... then silence.

Eventually, one badly wounded Isis fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men ... it's a trap. There's two of them."

I came home the other day and announced to my beloved that I'd joined the local Ramblers
Is that talking or walking? she replied

I rather liked this;