Ah! Politics...best avoided on social sites, don't you think?

Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, arrives at Passport Control at Athens airport.
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, not this time I am just here for a few days."

I thought Politics was a parrot that had swallowed a watch

Then again I always thought Rigatoni was a Latvian gangster.

For shame! the title is; Can we do jokes? not can we be PC.

Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year".
Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then."

Ether Start Australia

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes

Tight nuts!

A very long lake name, legend has it was named by the first man to drown in it.

Quote: crow wrote in post #69

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A very long lake name, legend has it was named by the first man to drown in it.

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Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.
























1... Where there's a will, I want to be in it.



2... The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.




3... Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.





4... If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.



5... We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.




6... War does not determine who is right - only who is left.





7... Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit . . . Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.



8... To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.




9... I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.





10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.




11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.



12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.




13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.




14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.




15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car




16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.











17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now

Legendary ventriloquist Keith Harris died today

Orville the duck has posted on facebook that he is totally speechless.

I was at Blackpool beach today and I witnessed some absolutely disgusting behaviour, I saw a man and a woman having an almighty argument in front of loads of kids, suddenly the woman smacked the guy in the head and it all kicked off. There was a massive brawl and someone called the police. This poor copper turned up on his own and took his baton to the man, the guy managed to snatch it off him and began assaulting the copper AND his wife!

Then out of nowhere a crocodile crept up and stole all the sausage......