I had to call the RSPCA today. I found a suitcase in the woods with a Fox and three cubs in it.

“That’s terrible” the officer said. “Are they moving?”

I said “I’m not sure, but it would explain the suitcase!”

Great Quotes on Sex

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500."

Lynn Lavner



"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."

George Burns



"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

Sharon Stone




"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."

Tiger Woods




"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

Jack Nicholson


"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."

Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)



"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

Robin Williams




"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."

Robert De Niro




"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"

Dustin Hoffman




"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked!"

Jerry Seinfeld




"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time."

Robin Williams




"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."

Joan Rivers




Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy.

Steve Martin




You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for later in life.

Elmo Phillips




"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

Oscar Wilde

Quote: Randa france wrote in post #274

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In the ongoing battle where large campervans endeavour to get the waterfront pitch and block everyone else's view, Demotivateur "Launch" their latest model.

Randa Arggggg

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Unhelpful comment deleted by me.

Steve.

Is this better?
22BBA6AB-662D-4324-B279-8EE31E2D3978.jpeg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)

That's really bad.

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?












Philippe Filloppe

When you are having a dispute with your neighbour......................

joke 1.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)

My local MP quit today (yes I do live in Orpington) he wants to spend less time with his family...

Missing Woman

Missing woman.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)

Rant. Fireworks!
What is it with these people?
It’s still only October and they’re letting off fireworks already.
One went off nearby and scared our cat so badly it ran up our Christmas tree!

I tried to set my password to beef stew.

It's not stroganoff.

Fans of the long running series, "British Brexit" were overjoyed to learn that there will be at least one more series of the show which has made fans around the world laugh. Many fans claim it to be the best comedy to come out of Britain since Fawlty Towers.
Dave