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Childish, but I like it
https://www.facebook.com/autoroutebiz/vi...29668970459139/
Dave

The wife asked if she could have peace & quiet
while she cooked dinner....

So I took the battery out of the smoke alarm!!!

From my little brother

I got this information just this morning.

The Japanese banking system is in trouble.

In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded.

Sumo Bank has gone belly up.

Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.

Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks whilst Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.

Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal…

My neighbour met a lovely girl with inflatable shoes. They had a lovely dinner together. He rang her up to ask her out again, but was sad to learn that she had popped her clogs.

Don't know if this is a scam but I just received a text saying that I had won €250 cash or two tickets to an Elvis Presley Tribute Night.
It says Press 1 for the Money or 2 for the Show. . . . .

This is one the Grandkids told me,
What kind of Bee makes milk?
Answer: A Boo Bee

My wife asked me what I was doing on the computer.
I said I was looking for cheap flights.

She got all excited which is strange as she's never shown any interest in Darts before.

My mother said I was built the wrong way round.......my feet smell and my nose runs!

From my 7 year old grandaughter:-
What do elephants make that no other animal does?
Answer - baby elephants.

As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.


I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.

Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?

He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,
'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'

Eric grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?

'No,' I replied.

'Write it down,' he said, and left.

So I wrote down: ID10T

I used to like the little bastard!!

Hmmmm , Why is it that we can get a pizza delivered to our homes
quicker than an ambulance??

I've Just been banned from "Weight Watchers"
I dropped a family bag of Maltesers on the floor.

It's the best game of Hungry Hippos I've ever seen!!!!

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A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away.

She said, 'But we don't know anything about each other.'

He said, 'That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along.'

So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice resort.

One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 metre board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife.

After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.

She said, 'That was incredible!'

He said, 'I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along.'

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing lengths.

After seventy-five lengths she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel and was hardly out of breath.

He said, 'That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?'

'No,' she said, 'I was a prostitute in Liverpool but I worked both sides of the Mersey '