Quote: mr_underhill wrote in post #314

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Let me rephrase that.. Na na na na na na na na Batman. for the pedantics amongst you !

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Found this still makes me smile

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A chap turns up at the antiques roadshow with a very tatty display of two stuffed dogs in a glass case. The expert quickly identifies the dogs and says excitedly to the chap, "These are a very valuable and rare breed indeed! Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in really good condition?" "Yes", replies the chap, "sticks!"

Steve.

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Life before the computer
Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a musical instrument
A web was where a spider lived
A virus was the flue
A hard drive was a long road journey
A mouse pad was where cool mouse lived
And if you had a 3 1/2" floppy, you just hoped mates didn't find out

Out celebrating the Chinese Year and an elderly waiter said he had been been a Kamikaze pilot in WW2. His nickname was Chow Mein. I said that I thought that was a suicide squadron. He explained that his full nickname was Chicken Chow Mein!

Dave the Scouser is touring the USA. Along the way, he stops off at a remote bar in the Nevada desert and chats to the bartender when he spots a Red Indian in full tribal dress seated in the corner of the bar.

"Blimey!" remarks Dave. "Who's he?"

"Gee, that's the memory man," replies the bartender. "He knows everything there is to know. Got a memory like an elephant, he can remember any fact. Heck, go and try him out!"

Dave heads over to the Red Indian, thinking that he can outsmart him with a question about English football.

He asks the memory man, "Who won the 1965 FA cup final?"

"Liverpool," came the instantaneous reply.

Dave was stunned. He tried again asking, "Who did they beat?"

"Leeds," replied the memory man.

Dave tried once more asking, "What was the final score?"

The wise Red Indian didn't hesitate in answering, "2-1."

Dave thinks he'll get smart, asking the memory man for the name of the winning goal scorer. Without so much as blinking, the Red Indian says, "Ian St John."

Dave is stunned and returns home to Liverpool, where he tells everyone about the Red Indian. Dave's curiosity lingers, and he vows to return to America and pay his respects to the Indian. Ten years later, Dave finally saved up enough money to return and, after weeks of searching the Nevada desert, once more he finds the Red Indian, now in a cave.

Humbled by the Red Indian, Dave steps forward, bows, and greets the brave in his traditional tongue.

"How," Dave says.

The memory man squints at him and replies, "A diving header in the six-yard box."

Not if you’re a Leeds United fan 😂

I knew there was something special about you Pete!
I was also a fan. Born in Leeds.

I rather liked this one...

A group of men, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch.
Finally, it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big bre@sts and wore mini-skirts.
Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch.
Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive.
The food and service were good and the beer selection was excellent.
Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch.
Finally, it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace and quiet with no loud music, and it was good value for money.
Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch.
Finally, it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.
Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch.
Finally, it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because they had never been there before.

I hate to think what you thought when lThe Likes of Donny beat Leeds in the playoff final

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