#331

RE: Can we do jokes?

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Tue Mar 17, 2020 7:48 pm
by Frantone (deleted)
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Not a joke but the Times quiz today......
B813B268-B584-42B1-A0EA-23D6C879D472.jpeg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)


Eriba Troll 540GT (#6) and Galaxy.
Don’t grow up.....it’s a trap!


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Last edited Tue Mar 17, 2020 7:49 pm | Scroll up

#332

RE: Can we do jokes?

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Tue Mar 17, 2020 8:26 pm
by mr_underhill | 688 Posts

I I'm sure I know, but just can't think at the moment.

2 Brevity

3 The Western novel.


Tardis II , Eriba Puck 1990 pushing a Fiat 500 Colour Therapy, Twin Air Turbo.
One man and his dog.. retired 🐶
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#333

RE: Can we do jokes?

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Tue Mar 17, 2020 8:31 pm
by eribaMotters | 5.601 Posts

Had this e-mailed to me by my 83 year old neighbour:-



Seniors’ Banking

Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman.
The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the Times.

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month.
By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to
honor it..

I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.
You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account £30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, --- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.

My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an OFFENSE under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.

Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.

Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public figure, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.

I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.

As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further.

When you call me, press buttons as follows:

IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALLING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH

#1. To make an appointment to see me

#2. To query a missing payment.

#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.

#4 To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.

#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.

#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required.

Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.

#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 to 9

#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry.

The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.

While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client


And remember:

Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off.


aka Oscar - Audi A3 1.5 petrol _ ex 430, 552, camplet trailer tent, 310, now a nice white 2017 430.
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#334

RE: Can we do jokes?

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Tue Mar 17, 2020 9:10 pm
by eribanaut | 1.228 Posts

Skoda Kodiaq 2.0 150 Tdi DSG Troll 552 - 2005
Don't worry about the destination, enjoy the journey.


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Last edited Tue Mar 17, 2020 9:12 pm | Scroll up

#335

RE: Can we do jokes?

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Wed Mar 18, 2020 2:56 pm
by Angie and Steve (deleted)
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Boris, Trump, Pope Francis & Mary a ten year old school girl were on a flight with just 3 parachutes . As the plane went down they were short of one parachute, Boris said ‘Im the smartest man in England, I simply cannot die, I have to survive’, and out he jumped with a parachute, next was Trump and he said ‘I’m need to keep America great and sort out this corona virus’ and out he jumped.. one parachute left, Pope Francis said , little Mary you take it, I have lived a good life, you are young with your whole life ahead of you... take it. Mary replied.. it’s OK Francis, there’s two parachutes left, the smartest man in England took my school bag..... 😂😂😂


Without music, life would be a mistake.
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#336

RE: Can we do jokes?

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Thu Mar 19, 2020 4:50 pm
by Randa france | 13.283 Posts

Language Warning If anyone is offended then I'll remove it.

Swansea's answer to the veranda choirs of Spain and Italy.


ERIBAFOLK POP UP EVERYWHERE 1999 Eriba Troll 530 pushing a VW Touran 2L TDi Match
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#337

RE: Can we do jokes?

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Thu Mar 19, 2020 8:33 pm
by Eribanut | 2.026 Posts

From what I hear, French supermarkets look like a bomb site.

All that’s left is de Brie. 🤣


Sermo datur cunctis; animi sapientia paucis
Tempus fugit; carpe diem
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#338

RE: Can we do jokes?

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Thu Mar 19, 2020 8:40 pm
by Randa france | 13.283 Posts

That's nothing. German Supermarkets are stocking up with sausage and cheese. That's for the Wurst Kase scenario.
Randa


ERIBAFOLK POP UP EVERYWHERE 1999 Eriba Troll 530 pushing a VW Touran 2L TDi Match


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Last edited Thu Mar 19, 2020 8:41 pm | Scroll up

#339

RE: Can we do jokes?

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Thu Mar 19, 2020 8:46 pm
by Angie and Steve (deleted)
avatar

And is if that wasn't enough Webuyanycar.com's website has been bought down by car owner virus

Steve.


Without music, life would be a mistake.


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Last edited Thu Mar 19, 2020 8:47 pm | Scroll up

#340

RE: Can we do jokes?

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Thu Mar 19, 2020 9:47 pm
by JohnE (deleted)
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IMG-20200315-WA0000.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)


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#341

RE: Can we do jokes?

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Fri Mar 20, 2020 8:34 pm
by Steve and Debbie | 1.109 Posts

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Puck 120 GT - Nissan Pulsar 1.5DCi
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#342

RE: Can we do jokes?

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Sat Mar 21, 2020 12:42 pm
by Randa france | 13.283 Posts

Pinched from Dave Gower

Dave Gower.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)


ERIBAFOLK POP UP EVERYWHERE 1999 Eriba Troll 530 pushing a VW Touran 2L TDi Match
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#343

RE: Can we do jokes?

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Sat Mar 21, 2020 9:40 pm
by Rickys Rav | 74 Posts

Screenshot_20200321-180743.png - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)


Troll 540GT pulled by Volvo XC60 D3 R-design AWD
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#344

RE: Can we do jokes?

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Tue Mar 24, 2020 7:16 pm
by campnsnooze (deleted)
avatar

An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there,
she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills."
Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old.
What possible use could you have for birth control pills?"
The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."
The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?"
The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and I sleep better at night.😀☺️😏


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#345

RE: Can we do jokes?

in Anything that's not Eriba-related. Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:10 pm
by Williebraveheart | 351 Posts

It is the 20th March 2053 and as usual John awoke to the annoying sound of his alarm. He stumbled out of bed as usual and staggered towards the bathroom to prepare for his day ahead. But this was not to be a usual day for John. This was to be the day that he would use the last of the toilet rolls his mother had bought in 2020.


2019 Troll 535GT Fixed Bed. Mercedes GLA 220d 4Matic


Last edited Wed Mar 25, 2020 5:43 pm | Scroll up


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