Tae a Virus

Two months ago we didna ken yer name or ocht aboot ye

But lots of things have changed since then, I really must salute ye.

Yer spreading rate is quite intense, ye’r feeding like a gannet

Disruption caused is so immense ye’ve shaken oor wee planet.

Corona used tae be a beer, they garnished it wi’ limes

But noo it’s filled us aw wi’ fear, these days are scary times

Nae shakin hawns or peckin lips, it’s what they aw advise

But scrub them weel richt tae the tips, that’s how we’ll aw survive

Just stay inside the hoose ye bide, nae sneakin oot for strolls

Just check the lavvy every hoor , and take stock ae yer loo rolls.

Our holidays have been put aff, that’s the Jet2 patter

Pit oan yer thermals, have a laugh and paddle ‘doon the watter’

Canary Isles nae for a while, nae need for suntan cream

And aw because ae this wee bug, we ken tae be nineteen.

Boredom surely will set in, but hae a read or doodle

Or plan yer menu for a month wi’ 99 pot noodles

When they run oot, just look aboot, a change it wid be nice.

We’ve beans and pasta by the ton, and twenty stane ae rice,

So dinny think ye’ll wipe us oot, aye true a few hae died

Bubonic, bird flu and TB, they came, they left, they tried.

Ye might be gallus noo, ma frein, as ye jump fae cup tae cup

But when we get oor vaccine, pal, yer number will be up!

Anon

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Wiliebraveheart

Worthy of McGonagall

#360
On the BBC news I think it was Monday last.

Over 70s are at risk if you
Are Diabetic
Have a heart condition
are Pregnant

In the words of Meatloaf, "2 out of 3 ain't bad"

Quote: Randa france wrote in post #364

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If you are over 70, diabetic,with a heart condition and pregnant
you are not at risk
you are a walking miracle

I’m sure we are all receiving crisis-related spam but this one takes the biscuit. It is from a company called Flasks Online and the advertisement says:
“Working from home? We’ve got what you need” “Shop our favourite Travel Mugs”
What!

Heard a Dr. on TV say to get through the boredom of self isolation we should finish things we start and thus have more calm in our lives. So I looked through the house to find all the things i've started but hadn't finished...so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Jock Danielas, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.

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Found elsewhere.

Today we were so bored we had a snail race. I took the shell off mine to make it more aerodynamic. But it just made it more sluggish....🐌

Better than nothing ?

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