I mist that at first

With wearing hearing aids, glasses and a face mask, my ears will stick out like Dumbo. I'm hoping it doesn't get too windy.

'Bike repair vouchers can be used for all parts, including wheels', said a Government spokesperson.

The Flat Earth Society, is worried that social distancing will push some people over the edge.
Dave

Boris and Michael are sent to hell where they are greeted at the gates by old nick himself. 'Welcome lads' he said 'I thought I would show you round myself so you can choose which area you would like to be sent to'. So off they go. They were shown a large room where people were being thrust into the flames by demons with pitchforks, but didn't fancy that. Then were shown a place where people were thrown from a high cliff, but didn't fancy that either. Finally they were shown a room where hundreds of people were standing up to their waists in raw sewage, drinking tea. 'This will do' said Boris. So they got into the sewage and were just starting to drink their tea when a voice cried ' Teabreak over, back on your heads'.

Quote: eribanaut wrote in post #424

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The Flat Earth Society, is worried that social distancing will push some people over the edge.
Dave

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I don't know if this has been on before but it's worth another look.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0fk6h63Wgs

For those of us who don't fancy eating in a restaurant at the moment.
https://youtu.be/yBJEP4lsRFY

Brilliant
Dave

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And Doc's kicked Sneezy out of the dwarf house in rule of six shake up...

My 4 year old kid has been learning Spanish all year and still can’t say please, which I think is poor for four.

Roman centurion walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says “five beers please”.

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.

“Don't you mean a Martini?” the bartender asks.

“If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one”

I had to pop in to Holiday Inn yesterday afternoon. I was a little surprised that they were not closed, so that was a relief. While I was waiting to catch a moment with the staff on reception, there were two guys in the seating area arguing about who was the better player - Kasparov or Fischer - while at the same time suggesting that *they* wouldn’t have lost to Deep Blue.
That’s a problem at this time of year. Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.